The character arc of Megan Phelps-Roper
A life drawn by Character Arc from the public record
Born on 31 January 1986 in Topeka, Kansas, the eldest daughter of the spokeswoman of the Westboro Baptist Church and granddaughter of the man who founded it. Between then and now sit a childhood on a compound, a first picket at five, baptism at thirteen, a first radio interview at eleven, a degree from Washburn, a job at the family law firm, a Twitter account she ran to preach the doctrine, a Jewish stranger who pointed out a contradiction she could not answer, a change in how the church made decisions, a night in a basement in Topeka in November 2012, and a life built from nothing at twenty six. The line below draws the story so far, in order.
Drag along the line to move, pinch or use the buttons to look closer. Tap the line to pluck it, or any mark for its card. Drawn from the public record of her life; the sources are at the foot of the page.
Who is Megan Phelps-Roper?
They argued with her online. One of them was right.
She grew up on a compound in Topeka owned by members of the Westboro Baptist Church, a small sect founded by her grandfather and categorised by the Southern Poverty Law Center as a hate group. Her mother was its spokeswoman. She was taught its doctrine from an early age, joined her first picket at five, was baptised into it by her grandfather at thirteen, and gave her first live radio interview at eleven, because interviewers wanted a younger voice and her mother supplied one.
She was good at it. After Washburn University she worked as a business administrator at the family law firm and became the person who scheduled the church pickets. In 2008 she joined Twitter, and from 2009 she used it to preach the doctrine to celebrities and prominent accounts, which made her the most visible young member of the group.
And that is what undid it. A Jewish man called David Abitbol kept pointing out contradictions in what she was arguing, including one about her own family that she could not answer. She stopped carrying the signs that called for the harshest punishments, and then she stopped talking to him, so that he could not challenge her any further. It was too late.
The second thing was internal. The church had made decisions by consensus, and women had real influence in it. In 2011 a council of nine male elders began meeting separately and deciding on their own, and a member was expelled by majority rather than unanimous vote. She believed both breached the group own reading of scripture.
In November 2012, during a family confrontation about her sister Grace, she asked Grace to leave with her, and they told their parents. The two of them spent one night in the basement of a former teacher in Topeka, then moved to a cousin house in Lawrence. She announced her departure publicly in February 2013, when the church planned to picket the funerals of children killed at Sandy Hook, because she did not want her silence taken for agreement. She has spoken since at festivals run by the very groups she had picketed, gave a TED talk in January 2017, and published Unfollow: A Journey from Hatred to Hope in October 2019. She lives in South Dakota with her husband, an attorney she first met on Twitter while she was still arguing for the church, and their two children.
The moments
Megan Phelps-Roper's timeline.
The 1980s
Born into it
Everyday, and it changed everything. A compound in Topeka, and a grandfather who founded it.
The 1990s
Her first picket at five
Setback, and it changed everything. Five years old, on a picket line.
An interview at eleven
Milestone, and it changed her direction. The church discovered it had a child who could talk.
Baptised at thirteen
Setback, and it changed everything. Her grandfather baptised her himself.
The 2000s
She joins Twitter
Milestone, and it changed everything. She went online to preach, which turned out to be a mistake.
The 2010s
A question she cannot answer
Milestone, and it changed everything. She stopped replying to him, which told her everything.
Nine men decide instead
Setback, and it changed everything. The rules changed, and she noticed.
She asks Grace to come
Milestone, and it changed everything. Two sisters, one night in a basement, and no way back.
Stay with her family, or go
Crossroads, decided.
The paths laid out: walk out, tonight, taken, or keep the doubts to herself. She built a life in South Dakota, spoke to the people she had picketed, gave a TED talk and wrote a memoir.
She says why, in public
Milestone, and it changed everything. She would not let her silence be counted as agreement.
She speaks to the people she picketed
Milestone, and it changed everything. She went and stood in front of the people she had shouted at.
South Dakota
Milestone, and it changed her direction. She married a man she met while arguing with strangers.
The TED talk
Milestone, and it changed everything. The argument she makes now is that arguing works.
Unfollow
Milestone, and it changed everything. Her own account, under her own name.
She writes and speaks, mostly about talking to people you think are wrong, which is a subject she is unusually qualified on. What she set moving is the proof of her own argument: she is standing outside that church today entirely because a handful of strangers were patient with her instead of shouting.
Your turn
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Megan Phelps-Roper: frequently asked questions
What people ask about her line.
What is Megan Phelps-Roper's character arc?
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When did Megan Phelps-Roper leave?
What book did Megan Phelps-Roper write?
What does Megan Phelps-Roper do now?
Where does this timeline of Megan Phelps-Roper's life come from?
More character arcs
Lives that rhyme with her.
Sources
- Megan Phelps-Roper, English Wikipedia biography, a Good Article, filed under living people.
- Unfollow: A Journey from Hatred to Hope, October 2019.
- Her TED talk of January 2017.
- The Louis Theroux documentaries in which she appears.